human resources rep zaps zombie worker (previously intern 3, jaded) and zombie worker shakes a little and lolls their tongue out zombie worker: “i’m a software developer! i’m a software developer!” human resources rep: “there ya go!” zombie worker: “i want to learn rust. and go! and lisp! and perl! and c#!” zombie worker (tongue lolling out) looks at human resourced rep: “teach me?” human resources rep: “ummm don’t software developers already know those?” zombie worker [rolls eyes to the corner, thinks a bit]: “i think it takes time to learn! maybe you go online and .. umm … spin up some example code or … uhhhh … come up with a proepject, open the docs, and build the project using reference material!” zombie worker grins at human resources rep zombie worker: “i’ll need to be able to read and remember things. can you give me those skills?” human resources rep stares at zombie worker