Gets a little crazy on the roads o' Raqqa, muh stucco muffas :)
How it truly went down:
US0: "These fuckin' Syrians put a fuckin' country round our oil field - how DARE they!"
US1: "Yeah, fuckin' sand niggers!"
[Russkie's literally start to approach on highway, from behind.]
RU0: "Ho, boys! Amerikanski oil "protectors" ahead. What do we?"
RU1: "Ohoh! Drift this Tigr, baby - We's Baaaack!!"
[serious literal military vehicle fast and furious ensues - see links below]
[Russkies take first hummer, start hunting down second...]
US0: "Muthufuckas! We got Russkies, lads, hang on tight!"
[US2-4 happy they remembered "low frequency protection unit" adult diapers this morning.]
RU0: "YEEEEE HAAAAAAW FIRETRUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!!!!"
US1: [death gripping handle bar] "Oahhhh shiiiiit - why you driving offroaoad, buddy?!#!"
US0: "Don't be a fuckin nigger! I think she'll make it - roadside don't look too fuckin rough."
RU1: [grinning madly out side window at US hummer boys]
"Baby, yeah! Lose you we will!"
[to Ru0:] "SHIT! Watch locals, brutha!"
[Russians narrowly miss a local who jumps out of the way]
RU0: "May be lose them, but anuddah Oil thief pass we must!"
RU1: "NO breaks, brutha! Do your copyright 'Boris Oil Thief Wedgy' manouver! Baby, yeah!"
RU0: "Got it, brutha!" [hits accelerator hard, wedges all 3 vehicles as they come to screaming halt]
[poetic license, not quite what actually happened, but part of upcoming movie script]
US0: "HEY MUTHAFUCKAS WHAT THE FUCKIN FUCK ARE YA DOING!"
US1: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK - Fucking PAPERWORK! FUCK YOU RUSSKIE!!"
RU0: [cracks a 4L vodka bottle] "Here, drink have you, brutha!"
RU1: [with huge cat eatin grin] "Awww, done cry little oil thief! Vodka take your paperwork away - HA HA HAAAA!"
US0+1: "FUCK!!!"
[See second 'tube below for Syrian villagers warmly welcoming American "democracy bringers" - with multiple gun shots :D]
----- Forwarded message from Zenaan Harkness