It's 10 AM on July 23, 2023, and I am downloading tor browser 12.5.1 at 30 KB/s from a mirror. Here are some tor mirrors: https://tor.ybti.net/ https://tor.eprci.net/ https://tor.zilog.es/ Today I was lucky enough to stumble on some feelings of meaning or sacredness while driving, and I drove by a roadkill deer. I'm parked near where I saw it, now. As I mention every moment, I've experienced strong political influence to build alternate behaviors in me counter to my own views. I believe in animal rights -- I see animals as sentient. But my genocide-inducing alternate identity does not. It's very very very hard to give respect to animals by the road. I used to give tobacco when I saw a dead animal, and give it a personal ritual of mourning. Somehow, seeing the large dead deer, while recently having held meaningful thoughts, I was able to engage these ideas again. I thought of [handling inhibs :/]