----- Forwarded message from Gil May -----
New Element - Governmentium
Scientists at CERN in Geneva have announced the discovery of the HEAVIEST
element yet known to science.
AND yes ... it was discovered in Australia, which is now the leading
producer.
The new element is Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it
an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lefton-like particles called
peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert. However, it
can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes in
contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less
than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years.
It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion
of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as
many peons but twice as many morons.
All of the money is consumed in the exchange, and no other by-products are
produced.
