karl’s practice journal 5

2024-03-07 354p

last weekend a small scary thng happened

today i proposed a fun thing online, but it’s unlikely, but possible !

i um today is a down day. the two days um (oops! we’re just practicing doing it :) (oh maybe do a reward like sugar!) (ok ummmm)

i guess i’ll reward myself for journaling but i want to make plans to reward myself at the support group tomorrow. ok. thank you.

here we go! 1556

oh a scary thing happened today!

yeah so i thought mind control was imaginary but it seems way um more productive to consider it real i guess. there’s logic.

i’ve been exposing myself heavily to this coercive-programming DID material and um there’s still some important-looking stuff i haven’t engaged yet, a lot of it.

it used to be…. very very hard to engage such things. 10 years ago. but is now more possible. i guess mostly (from new strategy).

ummmmm

so it still makes the difficulty and (line removed!)

anyway that’s why i’m taking a down day, wow. i hope with this extra time it can get easier. i know it will still be somewhat harder. we’ll see.

i guess umm uhhh it makes sense to move to whereever a therapist is found

umm obviously

hinestly when we get past the hirros it is such a relief to learn these things and have a plan! a friendly part says the reason it’s slow is because the bad-feeling part fights the information inside us. possibly! really used to doing it. because of it i guess.

i hope the therapy is real !!

we’ve been playing a game called “stone story” and it’s gotten meaningful a little because it was between the um therapy media um

1602

ok so my journal was a little funny looking to some. but maybe looks DID-like from it! i guess we also want to be able to make normal journals.

WOW (oops) 1603

might w(ant to journal more please!)

we want to journal (until it is essy >;(