I'm from Australia, so I thought I would I would throw in my 2 cents (0.01416 USD at time of writing).
My kinda speech, Zenaan
--- New high school principal
A Speech Every Australian High School Principal Should Give.
To the students and faculty of our high school:
I am your new principal, and honored to be so.
This principal needs to go back to school and learn the language of the country they seem to be so proud of. It's "honoured" not "honored".
There is no greater calling than to teach young people.
I would like to apprise you of some important changes coming to our school.
I am making these changes because I am convinced that most of the ideas that have dominated public education in Australia have worked against you, against your teachers and against our country.
Okay, fine.
First, this school will no longer honour race or ethnicity. I could not care less if your racial makeup is black, brown, red, yellow or white. I could not care less if your origins are African, Latin American, Asian or European, or if your ancestors arrived here on the Endeavour or on slave ships.
How exactly were you "honouring" it before-hand?
The only identity I care about, the only one this school will recognize, is your individual identity -- your character, your scholarship, your humanity.
*and* your humanity.
And the only national identity this school will care about is Australia.
The nationalism is painful.
This is an Australian public school, and Australian public schools were created to make better Australians. If you wish to affirm an ethnic, racial or religious identity through school, you will have to go elsewhere. We will end all ethnicity, race and non-Australian nationality-based celebrations. They undermine the motto of Australia, one of its three central values -- epluribus Unum, "from many, one." And this school will be guided by Australia's values.
What do you count as non-Australian nationality-based celebrations? Do we even have any Australian nationality-based celebrations. "Australia's values" -- invading and slaughtering millions of Aborigines?
This includes all after-school clubs. I will not authorize clubs that divide students based on any identities. This includes race, language, religion, sexual orientation or whatever else may become in vogue in a society divided by political correctness.
Okay. This sounds reasonable.
Your clubs will be based on interests and passions, not blood, ethnic, racial or other physically defined ties.
Isn't this what clubs are generally? It makes no sense to start talking about solutions to a problem that hasn't even been defined yet (shout out to the current contributor covenant debate).
Those clubs just cultivate narcissism -- an unhealthy preoccupation with the self -- while the purpose of education is to get you to think beyond yourself.
"Those" could be a reference to either the clubs before or after the "changes". Logic would suggest the latter, but the principal should know better than to structure their paragraphs like this. More discussion of an imaginary problem.
So we will have clubs that transport you to the wonders and glories of art, music, astronomy, languages you do not already speak, carpentry and more.
Fine.
If the only extracurricular activities you can imagine being interested in are those based on ethnic, racial or sexual identity, that means that little outside of yourself really interests you.
Ah, okay...?
Second, I am uninterested in whether English is your native language.
My only interest in terms of language is that you leave this school speaking and writing English as fluently as possible.
The English language has united Australia's citizens for over 200 years, and it will unite us at this school. It is one of the indispensable reasons this country of immigrants has always come to be one country. And if you leave this school without excellent English language skills, I would be remiss in my duty to ensure that you will be prepared to successfully compete in the Australian job market.
The other reason being that people like you are stopped as soon as possible.
We will learn other languages here -- it is deplorable that most Australians only speak English -- but if you want classes taught in your native language rather than in English,this is not your school.
"it is deplorable that most Australians only speak English" -- Exactly why I'm on a student exchange program right now. "but if you want classes taught in your native language rather than in English,this is not your school." -- Okay, your school doesn't have the capability to offer classes in another language. That's fine. Most schools in Australia don't.
Third, because I regard learning as a sacred endeavour, everything in this school will reflect learning's elevated status.
This means, among other things, that you and your teachers will dress accordingly.
Many people in our society dress more formally for Horse Racing events than for church or school. These people have their priorities backward. Therefore, there will be a formal dress code at this school.
Fourth, no obscene language will be tolerated anywhere on this school's property -- whether in class, in the hallways or at athletic events. If you can't speak without using the f -word, you can't speak. By obscene language I mean the words banned by the Federal Communications Commission, plus epithets such as "Abbo," even when used by one black student to address another black, or "bitch," even when addressed by a girl to a girlfriend. It is my intent that by the time you leave this school, you will be among the few your age to instinctively distinguish between the elevated and the degraded, the holy and the obscene.
There are two ways of creating change, by forcing it, or by creating an environment where the students come to the desired conclusion themselves.
Fifth, we will end all self-esteem programs. In this school, self-esteem will be attained in only one way -- the way people attained it until decided otherwise a generation ago -- by earning it.
I'm from Australia and I'm not sure what "self-esteem programs" would even entail.
One immediate consequence is that there will be one valedictorian, not eight.
How about none? We could treat learning as a "sacred endeavour" and not start telling one person that they, essentially "won the game" while the rest of them lost. It's this sort of ego-building positive feedback that creates the kind people our governments are full of.
Sixth, and last, I am reorienting the school toward academics and away from politics and propaganda. No more time will be devoted to scaring you about smoking and caffeine, or terrifying you about sexual harassment or global warming.
"politics" -- In my experience, Australian schools don't discuss politics very much at all. "smoking and caffeine" -- Lessons regarding smoking and caffeine have been somewhat mismanaged in Australia and often more people end up doing these things after the classes, so there is clearly a problem. "sexual harassment" -- I've never been in a class that talked about this. "global warming" -- I've never been in a class that tried to "terrify" anyone about global warming. If the principal is suggesting that we should stop teaching the opinion of "97 percent or more of actively publishing climate scientists" then this people is clearly not interested in "academics". (J. Cook, et al, "Quantifying the consensus on anthropogenic global warming in the scientific literature,"Environmental Research Letters Vol. 8 No. 2, (June 2013); DOI:10.1088/1748-9326/8/2/024024)
No more semesters will be devoted to condom wearing and teaching you to regard sexual relations as only or primarily a health issue..
A better approach might be to actually evaluate why these classes have been so inefficient and take up so much time.
There will be no more attempts to convince you that you are a victim because you are not white, or not male, or not heterosexual or not Christian.
I have some sympathies for this sentence, but I need to flesh that out more in my head.
We will have failed if any one of you graduates this school and does not consider him or herself inordinately fortunate -- to be alive and to be an Australian.
Now, please stand and join me in the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag of our country.
I cry.
As many of you do not know the words, your teachers will hand them out to you.
Being this disrespectful like this to your students is not going to yield good education outcomes.