On 07/11/2020 02:08 PM, Cecilia Tanaka wrote:
On Tue, Jun 30, 2020, 00:19 \0xDynamite <dreamingforward@gmail.com> wrote:
You sound cool. Your picture doesn't show a disgraceful person
Oh, sorry, my fault! Never remember to use filters or photo programs to make me look me desperately miserable. This is the reason I like this pic. It's just me and a Totoro hat.
Yes, it's a sweet photo :)
(But some problems are sooo fucking boring... Me too, I know. Sorry, bad mood. Need more sugar.)
Now, now, what's your problem with yourself?
Devastating physical pain and considerable emotional pain too. It hurts, it is frustrating when, after years trying to discover what is happening with your body, you finally receive an answer, and do need to fight against the State and the private health plan you contracted a decade ago and is f* expensive. Just for economic reference, I could use this money for visiting you once a month before all the COVID-19 stuff.
Yeah, injuries often suck. But they're also useful feedback. And in a way, who we are is the sum of of our scars.
At least, I do love my lawyer. When I look to the mirror, she still smiles to me, even working for free. I am an egocentric bastard and I still remember how life is sweet when you don't feel any pain. First, I will get the freedom back for me. After it, without pain, I will try to get the same sweet sensation for other people. Nobody deserves to feel pain and/or fear, darling.
I'm glad that you're feeling optimistic Ceci :)
In the moment, I am not a so good writer like I used to be and it's pretty scary for me. In the last three months, my doctor and I tried several medicines for avoiding the extreme levels of pain, but the chemicals make my writing so... hmm... meh! :-/
I hope that gabapentin isn't one of them. It's often used for neuropathic pain. But most of the clinical trial data is bullshit. Pfizer bribed physicians to produce positive results. It's bad shit, with lots of nasty side effects. Basically it makes you crazy: tired, confused, aggressive, and suicidal. But don't just stop. That's also very dangerous :(
And there are stupid mistakes, specially in French, because I learn a language using its sounds first, not its writing... Or, at least, try to do it. Sorry, my fault, I know I am a disaster with all languages, in special German Sauerkraut recipes! My last try exploded in the kitchen a few days ago and my nose is still screaming, full of horror... :-/
(Do you remember my past Sauerkraut disasters, Mirimir? Tor-Talk list before being kickbanned, for example, hahahaha!!)
Yeah, fermentation in sealed containers can be too exciting.
So, I prefer the pain and a, more or less, decent writing in Brazilian Portuguese, my native language, even being slower. My English always stinks, with or without pain, so no considerable problem.
Your English is fine :) And it'd be a hassle to read Portuguese.
I just need time and patience for learning a bit more about Medicine.
Medical systems and pharmaceutical firms need better legal oversight, for sure. As you know from experience.
Disinfected tender kisses and hugs. Take care, dear all! <3
Ceci
---------- Loving. Caring. Sharing. Being Excellent To Each Other And To Our Hackerspace. <3
"Don't let anyone rob you of your imagination, your creativity, or your curiosity. It's your place in the world; it's your life. Go on and do all you can with it, and make it the life you want to live." - Mae Jemison