APRIL 01, 21:11 EST Physicist Succumbs to Dangerfield Syndrome By Mickey Spillane Affiliated Print Writer Cambridge, Mass (AP) - Dr. Phallus Halitosis-Baker today went on a verbal rampage injuring six and boring five others. Police were called to Dr. Halitosis-Baker's east side home after neighbors noticed him yelling at them that taxes were too low and complaining that they had too many NRA bumper stickers on their gas guzzling sport utility vehicles. Before being led away to the Orwell Clinic for the critically underestimated, Dr. Halitosis-Baker vowed to return to fight what he calls the oppression of American excellence in science and education. "It's not fair that I have to come to the United States so I can make good money." Dr. Halitosis-Baker commented from the police cruiser. An initial diagnosis points to a severe case of Dangerfield Syndrome, named after American comedian Rodney Dangerfield. The syndrome causes victims to resort to name calling and ad-hominem arguments when they're not accorded the respect they think they deserve. Dr. Phallus Halitosis-Baker's episode was apparently triggered when a neighbor called Dr. Phallus Halitosis-Baker, Dick and not Dr. Dick as he prefers. The prognosis looks bright however for Dr. Phallus Halitosis-Baker, especially after technicians cleaned his mouth out with soap and gave him a toothbrush. Regards, Matt- ************************************************************************** Subscribe to Freematt's Alerts: Pro-Individual Rights Issues Send a blank message to: freematt@coil.com with the words subscribe FA on the subject line. List is private and moderated (7-30 messages per week) Matthew Gaylor, 2175 Bayfield Drive, Columbus, OH 43229 (614) 313-5722 ICQ: 106212065 Archived at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fa/ **************************************************************************