-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- Hash: SHA1 "Hiawatha's Research" Jason Holt <cypherpunks@lunkwill.org> June, 2004, released into the public domain. Dedicated to Eric Rescorla, with apologies to Longfellow. ("E. Rescorla" may be substituted for "Hiawatha" throughout.) Hiawatha, academic, he could start ten research papers, start them with such mighty study, that the last had left his printer, ere the first deadline extended. Then, to serve the greater purpose, he would post these master papers, post them with such speed and swiftness, to gain feedback from his cohorts, for their mighty learned comments. from his printer, Hiawatha took his publication paper, sent it to the preprint archive, sent it out to all the newsgroups Then he waited, watching, listening, for the erudite discussion, for the kudos and the errors, that the others soon would send him. But in this my Hiawatha was most cruelly mistaken, for not one did read his papers, not one got past the simple abstract. Still did they all grab their keyboards, writing with great flaming fury of the folly of his venture, of his paper's great misgiving. Of his obvious omissions, of his great misunderstandings, of his utter lack of vision, of his blatant plagiarism. (This last point he found most galling, found it really quite dumbfounding, since for prior art, he'd listed ninety-three related papers.) Now the mighty Hiawatha, in his office still is sitting, contemplating on his research, thinking on his chosen topic. Wondering, in idle moments, if he had not chosen wrongly, the position he had taken as a research paper author And he thinks, my Hiawatha, if he might not have been better served by a more lowly station, as a cashier at McDonalds, as a washer at the car wash, as a cleaner of the bathrooms. Thus departs my Hiawatha. -----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE----- Version: GnuPG v1.2.3 (GNU/Linux) iD8DBQFA0K1inwLgjivV2NERAmuuAKCTCxuOBxSTvFpN++ttTjNcOwCFQACg02WV /gYbY6V9JyRJl56DtIGx0vw= =BUXX -----END PGP SIGNATURE-----