Oh yeah... For those Cypherpunks that actually have sex with something other than their fist, the following statements are officially* fairly cypherpunkinsh: "Hey...if I have to take out that garbage then the terrrorists have won." "Ah well. We had a pretty good run. Let's face the fact that the party's over." "If you don't give me that blowjob tonight, then the terrorist have won." "Hey...bin Laden's MUCH safer than Washington Heights." "Why can't they blow up the goddam Hollywood sign...all those LA-LA-ers are just dying to have candlelight vigils and sing CoomByeYa." * Fuck you Variola...I just had a couple of dark Spatens ON TAP. I therefore declare that any Cypherpunk is officially authorized to make an official Cypherpunk statement, particularly if it a) Gets them some poontang, b) Gets them a few extra $$$, c) deflects any kind of bullzhit, real or perceived, or 4) Ya' just feel like making an official statement. Such official statements can completely contradict any other official statement, and that are by no means binding on any other subscriber to the Cypherpunks list (and of course they couldn't be).

From: "Tyler Durden" <camera_lumina@hotmail.com> To: sunder@sunder.net, measl@mfn.org CC: cypherpunks@al-qaeda.net Subject: Re: Al-Q targeting NY corporations? Date: Sun, 01 Aug 2004 17:31:20 -0400

"Nah, if you're an Al Qaeda member, it's your duty to open up more donut shops and in fact, have a policy of free donuts to every cop. Infact, you should send crates of donuts to every police precinct several times a day. I'd suggest a 10:1 donut to officer ratio."

I'm pretty sure I saw bin Laden working in "Kabab King" in Jackson Heights. I know it's him 'cause when I ordered I saw him spit on my Kababs. I said, "yo Osama...what the fuck're you doin' to my Kebabs". His reply: "Fuck you infidel. You want Pakistani food go to a buffet down the street."

As for targeting Financial Institutions, I went and painted a giant "JP Morgan" symbol on the roof of Madison Square Garden last week. Think it'll work? If it doesn't, like I said I'll try to sniff a hotspot from under the rubble for one last Cypherpunks post.

-TD

...

From: Sunder <sunder@sunder.net> To: "J.A. Terranson" <measl@mfn.org> CC: "cypherpunks@al-qaeda.net" <cypherpunks@al-qaeda.net> Subject: Re: Al-Q targeting NY corporations? Date: Sun, 1 Aug 2004 12:58:46 -0400 (edt)

<FUD Mode=True>

I've a better idea for the terrorists who may be paying attention, why not just leave NYC alone and target something more useful to take out - like Microsoft, for example.

IMHO, the planes that were targeted at the WTC would have been better directed at various Redmond, WA buildings. They're after all a very big company with a lot of billions - that would have been far more spectacular an attack than a couple of profitless eyesores blocking everyone's view of the Statue of Liberty. <BURP>

And what's with attacking the pentagon? They're the biggest sink of Evil American Taxpayer funds after all. Don't you want your enemies wasting billions of dollars on shitty airplanes and helicopters that crash themselves?

Besides, if you want to piss off the NY Cops, don't attack One Police Plaza, take out Dunkin Donuts and Krispy Kreme joints... well, wait, I kinda like Krispy Kreme once in a while, ok, just Dunkin Donuts... Or better yet, don't! The artery clogging fat and the diabetes inducing sugar+starch already do plenty. Nah, if you're an Al Qaeda member, it's your duty to open up more donut shops and in fact, have a policy of free donuts to every cop. Infact, you should send crates of donuts to every police precinct several times a day. I'd suggest a 10:1 donut to officer ratio.

Ditto for McDonalds foods. Add extra grease. The hydrogenated soybean kind!

And why bother taking out the bridge to NJ - after all, NJ is where all the stench is (remember that old joke: Girlfriend "Kiss me where it smells," Boyfriend: "Ok, let's drive to NJ!" You're better off leaving that bridge alone, so commuters can be terrorized by the industrial stench as they drive through, and by all the delays. Infact, if you're an Al Qaeda engineer, you'll want to BUILD more bridges to NJ, so more Satan Loving American Infidels will get sickened by it.

Oh yeah, and be sure to vote for Bush. He'll be sure to fuck the economy even worse and put more draconian laws into effect. You Al-Qaeda types hate us for having freedom, right? So Dubbya's your perfect boy for that.

That's the real way to be a terrorist, not by wasting your time on some dumb ass fireworks by airplane. Pshaw, only amateur terrorists do it that way.

</FUD>

----------------------Kaos-Keraunos-Kybernetos--------------------------- + ^ + :"I find it ironic that, on an amendment designed to protect /|\ \|/ :American democracy and our constitutional rights, the /\|/\ <--*-->:Republican leadership in the House had to rig the vote and \/|\/ /|\ :subvert the democratic process in order to prevail" \|/ + v + : -- Rep. Sanders re vote to ammend the US PATRIOT ACT. -------------------------------------- http://www.sunder.net ------------

On Sun, 1 Aug 2004, J.A. Terranson wrote:

...

Article below.

Just in case AQ is listening, I'd like to remind them that there are some other states that also have some *really* good targets ;-) But, if you're just "stuck" on New York, let me make my recommendations:

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