Right out of a Monty Python piece... http://www.portal.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2001/06/30/ngerb... MI5's secret plan to recruit gerbils as spycatchers By Michael Smith, Defence Correspondent (Filed: 30/06/2001) MI5 considered using a team of highly-trained gerbils to detect spies and terrorists flying into Britain during the 1970s, Sir Stephen Lander, the service's director-general, revealed yesterday. The plan was based on the ability of gerbils to detect a rise in adrenalin from changes in the scent of human sweat. Sir Stephen said the Israelis had put the idea into practice, placing gerbil cages to the side of security checks for travellers at Tel Aviv airport. A suitably placed fan wafted the scent of the suspect's sweat into the cage. The gerbils were trained by Pavlovian response to press a lever if they detected increased adrenalin, receiving food as a reward. The system was never put into practice by MI5 because the Israelis were forced to abandon it after they found that the gerbil could not tell the difference between terrorists and passengers who were scared of flying. Speaking at a conference at the Public Record Office in Kew, Sir Stephen said MI5 archives contained a complete volume on the idea - which was based on Canadian research for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police - written in the 1970s. Although Dame Stella Rimington made a practice of speaking publicly in an attempt to change MI5, yesterday's Missing Dimension conference was only the second occasion that Sir Stephen has done so. The conference marks a new PRO exhibition on espionage, Shaken Not Stirred, starting today, which includes exhibits on a number of spies including Mata Hari and a spy paid the equivalent of 6.5 million by King George I to spy on the Stuarts. The Missing Dimension refers to the fact that most histories are written before intelligence files have been released and so omit a crucial element of what occurred and why. Sir Stephen admitted that it would be a long time before MI5 would be able to release details of its Cold War activities. -- Yours, J.A. Terranson sysadmin@mfn.org If Governments really want us to behave like civilized human beings, they should give serious consideration towards setting a better example: Ruling by force, rather than consensus; the unrestrained application of unjust laws (which the victim-populations were never allowed input on in the first place); the State policy of justice only for the rich and elected; the intentional abuse and occassionally destruction of entire populations merely to distract an already apathetic and numb electorate... This type of demogoguery must surely wipe out the fascist United States as surely as it wiped out the fascist Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. The views expressed here are mine, and NOT those of my employers, associates, or others. Besides, if it *were* the opinion of all of those people, I doubt there would be a problem to bitch about in the first place... --------------------------------------------------------------------