how do i talk to fbi agents? i know everything. jfk, martin luther king, landing o nthe moon..... all of them.
Monty2hotty@aol.com wrote:
how do i talk to fbi agents? i know everything. jfk, martin luther king, landing o nthe moon..... all of them.
I'm sure there are millions of ways to talk to FBI agents. Walk up, look them in the eye, smile pleasantly but not too affectionately, hold out your hand & say "hello". Choice of language shouldn't be a problem - English is probably best, but Spanish works well & I'm sure they can handle a whole bunch of other languages as well. They even employ interpreters. Of course getting to meet the agent in the first place might be harder. You could look up their nearest office in the phone book, call them up and say "I want to talk to an FBI agent". It might work. Stranger things have happened. If you were really keen you could drive round, walk in the door and ask to see an agent. That way they couldn't just hang up the phone on you when they found out you wanted to tell them that Elvis is living with Indira Ghandi in an old B17 on the dark side of the moon. If they bodily threw you out you could sue them. In my limited understanding of the US system (I am neither a lawyer, nor resident on your continent) I think you can get to meet FBI agents if you are arrested for a federal crime. The more serious the crime, the longer the meeting. If you did something really nasty, such as saying, for purposes of illustration of a political point, that certain government officials needed to be killed, and making barely credible suggestions as to how that might be brought about, then you could end up talking to a great many FBI agents, for many years, at the taxpayer's expense. If that's a bit extreme for you, you could always just hang around in a bar near their office, maybe play some pool, talk about football, get chatting over a few beers. It works with everybody else, I don't see why the FBI should be any different. Except for the Mormons of course. Hey, that's another idea, you could become a Mormon, go to Utah, find out which temple (do they call them temples?) the local FBI types go to and meet them there. Maybe you could even marry one of them - I'm told that Mormons go in for that sort of thing & I'm sure there are some fine young agents of the appropriate gender for you. Then you could talk to an agent every day in the privacy of your mutual home. Then you could write a book about it called something like "talking to FBI agents for fun and profit". Who knows, it might sell. After all "Round Ireland with a Fridge" sold well & that is an even sillier idea. Or of course you could send dumb questions to mailing lists about something else entirely. Well, not completely dumb of course because there are FBI agents who read this list, so in a sense you are *already* talking to an FBI agent just by posting here. Isn't that cool? Ken
In my limited understanding of the US system (I am neither a lawyer, nor resident on your continent) I think you can get to meet FBI agents if you are arrested for a federal crime. The more serious the crime, the longer the meeting. If you did something really nasty, such as saying, for purposes of illustration of a political point, that certain government officials needed to be killed, and making barely credible suggestions as to how that might be brought about, then you could end up talking to a great many FBI agents, for many years, at the taxpayer's expense.
Just because a crime is Federal doesn't mean the FBI will be involved; depends on what you did, whether it's known at the time you did it that there were Federal crimes involved, whether the investigation is something that local cops can handle just fine or that need Federal help, whether the Feds are FBI, DEA, BATF, IRS, or other Federal agencies, etc. Sometimes the crime involves an actual victim and a crime scene, and it may be obvious enough from the crime scene or victim complaint that there are Federal crimes involved and enough complexity or inter-state activity that the local cops will bring in Feds. But sometimes the local cops don't need Federal help. Also, sometimes the "crime" doesn't involve a victim - it's private transactions between parties who aren't complaining about it as long as neither party rips off the other party. Sometimes those "crimes" are discovered by prying local cops, sometimes by prying Feds, and sometimes the activity starts off victimless, there's a dispute, and in the absence of the ability to use the legal system to resolve conflict, the parties resort to the pre-Common-Law Anglo-Saxon method of Trial By Combat to resolve the problem, and the cops discover that the participant has become deceased due to issues of Interstate Commerce, or recognize him from The Files, and bring in the FBI for help. And sometimes the criminals are the BATF, and the FBI are brought in to cover up, er, resolve the situation.
participants (3)
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Bill Stewart -
Ken Brown -
Monty2hotty＠aol.com