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. A joke beats a wise statement any day of the week for content, style and performance. << Great post JYA!

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? >>> >>> >>> From the Human Resources/Training Perspective: >>> The chicken had a vision. The chicken was proficient in the core >>> competencies necessary to implement the plan and make the vision >>> reality. >>> >>> Pat Buchanan: >>> To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American. >>> >>> Machiavelli: >>> The point is

that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The >>> ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was. >>> >>> Thomas de Torquemada: >>> Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out. >>> >>> Timothy Leary: >>> Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let >>> it take. >>> >>> Carl Jung: >>> The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that >>> individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and, >>> therefore, synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being. >>> >>> John Locke: >>> Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty. >>> >>> Albert Camus: >>> It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to >>> him. >>> >>> Fox Mulder: >>> It was a government conspiracy. >>> >>> Darwin: >>> Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected >>> in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross >>> roads. >>> >>> Darwin #2: >>> It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees. >>> >>> Richard M. Nixon: >>> The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not >>> cross the road. >>> >>> Oliver Stone: >>> The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is >>> rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we >>> overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?" >>> >>> Jerry Seinfeld: >>> Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever >>> think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around >>> all over the place anyway?" >>> >>> The Pope: >>> That is only for God to know. >>> >>> Louis Farrakhan: >>> The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken >>> crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down. >>> >>> Martin Luther King, Jr.: >>> I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads >>> without having their motives called into question. >>> >>> Immanuel Kant: >>> The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of >>> his own free will. >>> >>> Grandpa: >>> In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone >>> told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good >>> enough for us. >>> >>> Dirk Gently (Holistic Detective): >>> I'm not exactly sure why, but right now I've got a horse in my >>> bathroom. >>> >>> Bill Gates: >>> I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross >>> roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it >>> gets 1.4999999999. >>> >>> M.C.Escher: >>> That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on at the >>>time. >>> >>> George Orwell: >>> Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was >>> crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only >>> serving their interests. >>> >>> Plato: >>> For the greater good. >>> >>> Aristotle: >>> To actualize its potential. >>> >>> Karl Marx: >>> It was a historical inevitability. >>> >>> Nietzsche: >>> Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also >>> across you. >>> >>> B.F. Skinner: >>> Because the external influences, which had pervaded its sensorium >>> from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it >>> would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to >>> be of its own freewill. >>> >>> Jean-Paul Sartre: >>> In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken >>> found it necessary to cross the road. >>> >>> Albert Einstein: >>> Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the >>> chicken depends upon your frame of reference. >>> >>> Pyrrho the Skeptic: >>> What road? >>> >>> The Sphinx: >>> You tell me. >>> >>> Buddha: >>> If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature. >>> >>> Emily Dickenson: >>> Because it could not stop for death. >>> >>> Ralph Waldo Emerson: >>> It didn't cross the road; it transcended it. >>> >>> Ernest Hemingway: >>> To die. In the rain. >>> >>> Saddam Hussein: >>> This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite >>> justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. >>> >>> Saddam Hussein #2: >>> It is the Mother of all Chickens. >>> >>> Joseph Stalin: >>> I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette. >>> >>> Dr. Seuss: >>> Did the chicken cross the road? >>> Did he cross it with a toad? >>> Yes the chicken crossed the road, >>> but why it crossed it, I've not been told! >>> >>> Colonel Sanders: >>> I missed one?