* The Michigan Court of Appeals in April ruled, on a technicality, in favor of a prison inmate who had tossed a cup of liquified feces in the face of a guard. Alphonso Gaines, 34, already serving time for assault, could not be punished further, said the court, because the prosecutors forgot to prove that Gaines was "lawfully" incarcerated in the Ionia facility at the time he threw the feces. Prosecutor Gail Hitchcock was incensed: "Did they think we were charging someone who had sneaked into prison?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To read these News of the Weird newspaper columns from the past six months, go to http://www.nine.org/notw/notw.html (That site contains no graphics, no photos, no video clips, no audio. Just text. Deal with it.)