Male Gorilla, Released to Mate with Females, Drops Dead AP 24-MAR-98 TOKYO (AP) The excitement, or perhaps the pressure, apparently was too much for Sultan. The 28-year-old male gorilla, specially moved to a cage to mate with three females, instead dropped dead. The 400-pound lowland gorilla ran around briefly and played with his new friends Monday, then suddenly collapsed, apparently after suffering a heart attack, said Kunihiko Yasui, head of animal breeding at Kyoto Municipal Zoo. ~~~ Reports from non-mainstream news sources indicate that one of the female gorillas was carrying an umbrella which was nowhere to be found when invesigators searched the cage after the mysterious death of the male gorilla. Gertrude Stein, denying that an elite corps of techno-femnists is involved with providing CIA BlackOps training for female subjects of a digital-implant experiment being conducted by the NSA, merely said, "What is good for the goose is not always necessarily good for the gorilla." Anonymous sources from the CypherPunks Distributed Mailing List indicated that the assassination was coordinated by Blanc Weber, a list member who disguises her hidden agenda of MeatSpace violence by constantly admonishing list members for expressing the results of the excessive male hormones surging through their potential-rapist bodies. The sources cited Weber's previous support of Zsa-Zsa Grubor as proof of her involvement with radical femnist movements whose goals are secretly financed by Wonder Bra, Wonder Woman, and Wonder Bread. Mainstream media sources continue to claim that this post is nothing more than the psychotic babblings of a FrostBack To Be Named Later. However, this view is obvious in error, or an intelligent person such as yourself would not stil be reading this post, eh? TruthFemnist, "And, after my operation, I will learn to spell 'feminist' correctly."