Why? Date: 20th October 1996. The purpose of life,... is not to be found. I have been pursuing this thought and question to many of the people I have met in the past few weeks. Sad enough to report that I have found no answers or clues that if anyone ever know what it is or could be. One thing for sure is material and physical objects are close to replacing the purpose, the real purpose if there is one. I am still quizzed on how there is a purpose in which we all strive to attain. There must an objective somewhere which clearly states,"You, whatname whatage, will have to do this, do that." Somehow, in the pursuit for the answer I have strained my physical and emotional self. I have realised what I am doing and that I am actually directionless, like all the people I know. Doing things for the sake of doing. Clearly, I think television or rather, the mass media in general has caused the gradual eradication of purpose in life for many people. What do you want? What do I want? Sure enough, we do not ask ourselves that question once too often, but spending more time pondering about it, it really makes no sense in what we do having corellation to what we want. What is it actually that we seek in life? Which brings us back to the time when we thought we had a purpose. Could you recall the times when you really wanted something? Or someone? Why? Simply because we didn't have it. It's a mass media driven, pointless race to own something, which actually doesn't make much sense. I am not sure why all of us are acting the way we are. In trying to understand it, I began to question why I would want to know. Why do I want to know? So that I could talk about it? Write a book? Be famous and rich? Be respected? Now, take a minute off and think of what you just read. It's from the media to the people. The people made the media. People are driving people nuts. Is this what we want? Once you shrink the big picture, you realise that nothing makes any sense anyway. And what is "making sense"? What do we gain from realising all this which makes us act and live the way we are? We get to past our time. Since we were born, we had nothing except time. Shitloads of it, excuse me. So we start doing things. Things that actually do not mean much to us but, "heck, I've got all the time in my life" So, it starts to generate a sort of hype, "hey, he's doing something, maybe I should too." Then another fella comes in, "Well I've got nothing to do, maybe I should tell others what these two guys are doing" So the snowball gets rolling. The moment it stops, if it ever stops, I guess we go crazy. Now what is crazy? Understanding why we actually have no reason of being here? I'm not going to start on religion, if you're getting my rift here. So here we are, pretending that we love this and like doing that. Okay, I admit somethings are fun but 90% of the time you realise, "gee, what is it that I want?" If everyone were to ask the same question at the same time, then we'd all be crazy or something, whatever. The problem is, there's five billion people and each one not voicing what they think would hold themselves back by saying "Now, if I say that, these guys would think I'm nuts, and my..." Some do get to express, and once they express it, they are lost in the world of understanding, they realise that we all have no reasons, logical or whatsoever, to be where we are doing what we think we need to do. Now these guys are labeled "nuts" and grouped together. See how happy they are in "Cuckoo's Nest". Okay, so the interns are a little pain in the ass. But look at yourself! We are basically doing things of no relevance. Question what you do with "So?" You are bound to realise what you have probably tried to hide all your life. That we are all alone. That we are all meaningless. That we are all trying to hide from each other what we fear. No, this is not a scam. And sorry, I don't have the solution. I guess we are the same. In the dark we are alone, in the bright we skin and hide. rednax@tm.net.my http://www.asiapac.net/~rednax "I have seen little angels turn bad But that's just because they have grown Likewise the problems I currently access They are small matters full blown"