LAUGH TRACK The Clintons' new dog -- Bill Maher: "This dog is going to live in the White House, so it's going have to go outside if it's going to make fund raising calls" ("PI," ABC 12/9). David Letterman: "And now they've got him working on training him to dig cemetary plots at Arlington National Cemetery" ("Late Show," CBS 12/9). Jay Leno on VP Gore: "New movie coming out called "Digging to China' It's all about Al Gore's search for campaign donations" ("Tonight," 12/9). For more on the complicated family tree of Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall, who just had a baby (his 6th, her 4th), click Back Bench. TOP TEN COMPLAINTS OF PRESIDENT CLINTON'S NEW PUPPY 10. Whenever you bury a bone, president digs it up and eats it. 9. Late-night walks always end up at local Hooters. 8. Much too easy to mistake Al Gore for a tree. 7. Keep getting yelled at for "fetching" Sam Donaldson's hairpiece. 6. When the president says "Roll over," he's usually talking to his date. 5. Roger hogs all the best chew-toys. 4. If you so much as look at Janet Reno, you get an assfull of size-13 pump. 3. Leash not as nice as the one Hillary uses on Bill. 2. Unfair having to get "fixed" when Clinton's the one who really needs it. 1. Fighting with Bill over the last snausage (CBS, 12/9). TV SOUNDBITE "This story's not going to die." -- ABC's Cokie Roberts on the fundraising scandals, "GMA," 12/10