[JAPANESE NUTLY NEWS: Soyabeanfeit,Japan] CHIEF CYPLEPUNKS SPOKESPELSON Nonookie Masturbatshi told reportwhores gathered at the Nucrear Sulvivol Sushi Bar & Grill that CypherPunks everywhere were happy over the return of Dr. Dimitri Vulis, KOTM, to the CypherPunks Distributed List, apparently once again in his usual fighting form.
I've consulted for lots of weird people, from Baha'i to Serbs to Black Panthers, but I'd be reluctant to knowingly work for any Japs because Japs are onboxious and dishonest and I don't like them. I used to work with a guy who did a lot of work for AUM, who I think did a good job, but should have gassed many more Japs. I'm further convinced that Japs are shit by their postings to this list. It's such a pity the Jap cowards capitulated before Truman had a chance to drop a few dozen more nukes on them! We also shoud have used poison gas on them, just like they used it on Chinese civilians. We also should have executed all of their POWs, just like they tortured to death most of European POWs. The Japs got off way too easy for their crimes in WW2. Why wasn't your silly little Emperor Hirohito (spit) hanged with the other war criminals? Now the Japs are hoarding up all the available plutonium, obviously preparing to nuke China and other neighbors (and possibly U.S.) in a likely future war.
"Everyone familiar with group dynamics recognizes that when a list member leaves, or is absent for a period of time, that it is up to the other members of the group to help pick up the slack." Joichi Ito told reporterwhores, in amazingly good English, as the rest of the Japanese CypherPunks looked at each other and shrugged. "It has been difficult, with Dimitri laying low, to keep up the level of racist ranting that is expected by list subscribers, but fortunately, other list members have stepped into the void and performed remarkably well in his absence. Including myself..." Joichi added, stretching his eyelids out to form wide, round circles, as the other CypherPunks hooted loudly and banged Saki bottles on the floor, shouting "Foleign Devirs!" As Jun Yoshitake farted 'Misty' for the gathered band of protruding nails, the only black member of the cypherpunks-e mailing list, Nobuki Nakatuji, from Athens, Georgia, opened the gift he had brought as a peace offering from their American counterparts. There were a lot of angeled and angered eyebrows raised when the gift turned out to be a microwave oven from a company in New Mexico, but the frowns quickly turned to smiles when Joichi Ito presented Nobuki with a gift to take back to the American CypherPunks--a small model of the U.S.S. Arizona, carved out of volcanic rock and resting at the bottom of a small fish tank. "OUBAKAYAROU!!" shouted Jun Yoshitake, leaping up and handing an invoice for $50.00 from Mitsubishi to Tim C. May, for the 'gift'. Once again, there were many hoots and the banging of Saki bottles by the gathered Japanese crypto-munitions experts. After the ceremonial gifts had been exchanged, the group shared dinner and many more drinks, expressing regret that their good fortune in Dimitri's return bringing a wider range of racism back to the list would be at the expense of others, such as the murdering Armenian bastard, Ray Arachelian. There was also a discussion about the problems surrounding the current implementation of the Misty algorithm. Some felt that Peter Trei had purposely given them the wrong value for 5 + 7, but others pointed out that he may have merely been too hasty in trusting the answer sent by TruthMonger in reply to Trei's question to the list. TluthMongler, keeping his back to the wall in case the others tried to kill and eat him, announced that Dimitri had been added to the Nuclear Alley "don't hire list." Everyone at the meeting soon began nodding out from overdoing the festivities, mumbling things like, "Miclowave Tokoyo," or stumbling off to the toilet saying, "I go make smarr Timmy Mayonnaises..chop, chop--hee, hee." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- This message here that you read cleated undel the auspices of the Japanese Chaptel of the Erectlonic Folgely Foundation. If you lead, you send fify dorrals, OK? (Onry lound-eyes have to pay...and also Chinamen...chop, chop.) You not pay, you go nuke youlserf, OK? ----------------------------------------------------------------------