* * * * * * Consultants Wanted * * * * * * * We want to fill up as many binders with as much information as possible, so we're asking Dilbert Trivia Game players to do the Yoyodyne Survey. What's in it for you? Prizes. We'll be randomly awarding stuff to people who do this: http://www.yoyo.com/dilbert/survey.html * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * This memo is to announce that Round Thirteen of The Dilbert Trivia Game has now been implemented. Please file this memo in the appropriate binder, in triplicate. The distribution of cool, official Dilbert prizes is at stake here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Need a Way Out? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you'd rather write your own performance review than keep playing this game, please visit Yoyodyne's new Customer Service Center at http://www.yoyo.com/service, where your request can be fulfilled automatically. Want to quit all Yoyodyne games? The Customer Service Center can do that too. Just like that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This Week's Questions ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Question One ~~~~~~~~~~~~ In a meeting with the boss, as captured forever in the pages of "Dogbert's Top-Secret Management Handbook" ("DTSMH"), Dilbert is told to add a sentence to his report saying that micro-robotics is a dead-end technology. When he answers that the statement would make the whole report a confusing and senseless waste of time, the boss says: A -- That's okay. We just won't let anybody else see it. B -- That's part of our strategy. C -- And your point is what? Question Two ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Discussing the quality assurance process with Ratbert (as transcribed in a strip in "DTSMH"), the boss accuses him of finding a huge number of flaws in the prototype, jeopardizing the schedule. The possible results, according to the boss, are: A -- Mass layoffs will result. B -- The entire project will fail and it's all your fault. C -- This could be the end of civilization as we know it. Question Three ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Waxing rhapsodic over the advantages of using temporary workers (as noted in a strip in "DTSMH"), the boss says: A -- I just love hiring these temporary workers. B -- No employee benefits...no union...just throw 'em in the Dumpster when you're done with 'em. C -- Both A and B. Question Four ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Asking the boss to delay the beta trial of a product until it stops exploding, Dilbert is met with resistance, as evidenced by this strip in "DTSMH": A -- You engineers are such pessimists. Just once, try to focus on the positive aspects of the trial. B -- Is that a bad thing? C -- Could we call that a feature? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Productivity Tip ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dogbert absolutely, positively must receive your answers at dogbert@yoyo.com before the deadline of 5/11/97 11:00:00 PM Eastern Time or you'll be replaced by a consultant. So give yourself enough time for the mail to get here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Incentive Plan Update ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Every correct answer earns you an entry into the weekly, quarterly, and annual prize drawings. And even wrong answers count toward the drawing for the annual attendance prize. (No sick days or vacation days if you want to win that one.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How to Answer the Questions ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ First off, your player ID -- the letters and numbers in parentheses on the Subject line when you get your questions -- has to be on that same old Subject line when you send your answers. It looks like this example: (123456di) Most mailers will set this up automatically when you use the "Reply" button. If yours won't, then copy the Subject line from the Question message and paste it into the Subject line of your reply. Next comes setting up your answers. Start by picking the LETTER of the multiple-choice answer you like best. Say the answer to a question is this: A -- A coffee cup with a slogan is your answer to the productivity crisis? Your answer would be the letter A, preceded by a single pound sign # -- like so: #A One more thing: Each answer goes on its own line, please. Thanks. To review: Start by opening the original e-mail with the questions, click the "Reply" button, type your answers in the order in which they were asked, on separate lines, and put one of these thingies # in front of each one. There's more about the formatting stuff in the How to Play document, which you can get by sending e-mail to dogberthow@yoyo.com. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Fine Print ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *FLAMES*FAN MAIL*FEEDBACK* Please send everything like that off to Laurie, the Quality Obsessed Customer Service Rep for the game. Her address is ratbert@yoyo.com (she lives under the copying machine, in a little nest there, right next to Ratbert). Laurie will forward any game feedback to Scott, in neatly tied daily bundles. Scott prefers it this way -- he told us so. Letting Laurie solve your problems will allow Scott to focus on drawing more great comics for us to enjoy. * Official Notice About the Vagaries of E-mail * As you've doubtless discovered if you've used e-mail even once, it usually gets where it's going when it's supposed to, BUT sometimes the e-mail gods divert your message to Elbonia. If your answers to the game questions land in our system after the deadline or fail to make it to us altogether, we can't count them. We send out a message listing the correct answers right after the deadline. The Internet *should* work on time all the time, but it doesn't. The best thing you can do is send in your answers well in advance of the deadline. * Player ID * Your player ID is the collection of digits and letters, enclosed in parentheses, on the Subject line of every question e-mail you receive in this game. It looks like this example: (123456di). We need to have your player ID in every communication to Yoyodyne. Most mailers will set this up automatically when you use the "Reply" button. If yours won't, then copy over the Subject line from the Question message and paste it into the Subject line of your reply. * More Info * For more information about The Dilbert Trivia Game, send e-mail to these addresses: Quality of Life Issues: ratbert@yoyo.com How to Play: dogberthow@yoyo.com Game FAQ: dogbertfaq@yoyo.com The Official Rules: dogbertrules@yoyo.com Web site: http://www.yoyo.com/dilbert Tell your friends to play The Dilbert Trivia Game, and see whose score is higher! The sign-up address is dilbert@yoyo.com. Like, wow. For info about other free Yoyodyne games you could be playing, send e-mail to win@yoyo.com or, even better, visit our Web site at http://www.yoyo.com. And don't forget about our free weekly newsletter. E-mail news@yoyo.com to sign up. --- Yoyodyne Entertainment "Where the future begins...tomorrow." win@yoyo.com, http://www.yoyo.com Copyright, United Features Syndicate, Inc. 1997