Now _this_ is illustrative... Husband: "Hi. I'm having a problem connecting to the Internet." Tech Support: "Ok sir, what operating system are you using?" Husband: "Oh...I'm really not sure...I'm not the computer expert. My wife is. She's sitting at the computer. I'm going to dictate this to her." (pause) "She says we use Windows 95." Tech Support: "Ok. What exactly is the problem?" Husband: "I can't connect." Wife: (in the background) "We can't even get on -- the software is buggy!" Tech Support: "Ok, what happens when you try to connect?" Husband: "Ok, the Connect To: screen pops up, and it asks for my password." Tech Support: "Did you put your password in?" Husband: "Yes, and it keeps asking for it afterwards." Tech Support: "Do you have your caps lock key on?" Husband: "Yes, but that shouldn't make any difference." Tech Support: "Uhm...go ahead and hit the caps lock key until the light goes away." Husband: "Are you sure? We've always got on with the caps lock key on." Tech Support: "Yes, I'm sure." Husband: "Oh, ok. It took my password." Wife: (in the background) "I told you!" (They start arguing. She takes the phone from him.) "HELLO?" Tech Support: "Yes, hello, you should be all set from here." Wife: "YES HI, I'VE BEEN USING YOUR DAMN SOFTWARE FOR I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW LONG, AND I STILL CAN'T GET EMAIL FROM MY SON IN THE NAVY!" Tech Support: "What program do you use for email, ma'am?" Wife: "I use Windows 95! We already told you that!" Husband: (in the background) "We already told her that, didn't we?" Tech Support: "No, what mail application...such as Eudora, Netscape, Internet Explorer..." Wife: "Microsoft Netscape." Tech Support: "Netscape?" Wife: "Yes, Microsoft Netscape." Tech Support: "Ok, open that up and go to Options, and then Mail and News Preferences--" Wife: "No, I want email! I don't want to surf the net!" Tech Support: "Netscape comes with an email program, and we're going to set it up now." Wife: "Ugh. Fine. Whatever. We'll do it YOUR way." Tech Support: "Ok." (explains how to set up popmail) Wife: "I'm not getting mail." Tech Support: "Do you have two phone lines?" Suddenly I hear the modem attempting to dial in. Tech Support: (over the roar of the modem) "MA'AM? YOU ONLY HAVE ONE PHONE LINE. DON'T TRY TO DIAL IN." (beep click click) Tech Support: "You can't dial up with this line. It's already in use." Wife: "I was always able to use it before YOU changed my settings!" Tech Support: "No, you will just have to disconn--" Wife: "You tech support people always mess up my settings, and then I have to bring my computer back to [retailer] to get it fixed! You know, you cost me so much money!" Tech Support: "Ma'am, I didn't change any of your Internet settings." Wife: "Yes you did, we just went through a NUMBER of things." Tech Support: "All we did was--" Wife: "I've had ENOUGH of your service. I'm going back to AOL." (click)