Subject: FWD Adm Humor
From: Nick Schmelz <[email-masked]>
To: rowan talk <rt@majordomo>
Date: Fri, 7 Feb 1997 15:37:55 -0500 (EST)

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:	HEROES::FITZGERALD    7-FEB-1997 14:18:16.47
To:	SCHMELZ
CC:	
Subj:	Administratiave Humor

           From: "Curt Denny" <[email-masked]>

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by GM
Research physicists.  The element, tentatively named Administratium, has
no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of zero.  However,
it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and
111 assistant vice neutrons.  This gives it an atomic number of 312. 
These particles are held together by a force that involves the
continuous exchange of meson-like particles known as morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert.  However, it can be
detected chemically because it impedes every reaction it comes in
contact with.  According to the discoverers, a minute amount of
Administratium caused one reaction to take four days to complete when it
would have normally occurred in less than one second.  Administratium
has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it
does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which
assistant neutrons exchange places.  Some studies have shown that the
atomic mass actually increases after each organization.

Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs
naturally in the atmosphere.  It tends to concentrate at certain points
such as government agencies, large corporations and universities, and
can usually be found in the newest, best appointed and best maintained
buildings.

Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any
detectable level of concentratitroy any productive
reaction where it is allowed to accumulate.  Attempts are being made to
determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible
damage, but results to date are not promising. 

                               Check us out at:
                           http://www.clc.cc.il.us

     "There is no limit to the amount of good that people can accomplish if they don't care who gets the credit!"

Curtis L. Denny
College of Lake County
Director of Admission and Records
19351 West Washington Street
Grayslake, IL 60030-1198
Phone:  (847) 223-6601, Ext. 2384
Fax:    (847) 223-1017
E-Mail:  [email-masked]