I've just uncovered a massive plot to destroy our nation's competitiveness and inculcate its young people in the collectivist mentality. The tool? Youth sports! This morning's AP wire reports that two football coaches are suing a youth football league after being banned for life because their 11 and 12 year old players won by too large a point spread. Apparently, and I find this truly shocking, it is a common practice in youth sports today to have a rule limiting the number of points by which a game may be won, with horrendous sanctions for violating it. Winning by more than that, it is argued, is "demoralizing" to the other team, and (Gasp!) UNETHICAL! Once the designated point spread is reached, coaches must order their players to deliberately lose, play badly, and act retarded. I became aware of this idiotic practice after I mentioned the AP article to several people, and rather than throwing up their arms in horror, they volunteered that their own local teams had such rules as well. It's time to check closely, to make sure such shenanigans are not afoot in your town, polluting the entrepreneurial spirit of your very own children. Imagine if Ross Perot had played on such a team, or Bill Gates, or Adolf Hitler? The entire course of history might have been changed. ----- FRIENDSWOOD, Texas (AP) -- Two volunteer coaches are taking a youth football league to court after they were banned for life because their 11- and 12-year-old players couldn't resist playing hard. After the Sagemont Cowboys destroyed the Friendswood Chiefs 62-0 on Oct. 4, the Bay Area Football League banned twin brothers Roy and Rene Aguilar -- whose team has dominated the league for several years. ``They're saying that because we demoralized the other team and that we are teaching the kids unethical practices that we're out for life,'' Rene Aguilar, the team's assistant coach, said in Wednesday's editions of The Galveston County Daily News. The league has a rule that prohibits teams from winning by more than 42 points. The Aguilars say they told the team to slow down after building a 42-0 lead, but the players couldn't help scoring again. The Friendswood Chiefs, named after this Houston suburb, fumbled the ball in their own end zone and Sagemont recovered to increase its lead to 48-0. Rene Aguilar said the coaches tried to tell the players not to recover the fumble. ``That's confusing to them,'' he said. ``One minute we're trying to tell them to play hard, then we're telling them to lay down.'' Recovering that fumble, according to a league rule, meant a one-game suspension for the head coach and a $100 fine for the team. Rene Aguilar said the Sagemont club president was at the game and told the coaches to handle the situation however they saw fit. ``So we played the rest of the game because we already knew we were going to be penalized,'' he said. The Cowboys went on to score another 14 points. League officials met two days later and gave the Aguilars a lifetime ban. A judge granted the Aguilars a restraining order to prevent the ban from taking effect, but the order expires Friday. The Aguilars met with the league officials late Wednesday for private mediation in an effort to avoid a court hearing Friday. ``We're not allowed to discuss what went on,'' Peggy Bittick, the coaches' attorney, told The Associated Press late Wednesday. ``We're going full force to court.'' Calls to league officials were not returned. Ms. Bittick said she watched a videotape of the game and it appeared that Friendswood was not trying to recover the fumble. ``It looked like the other team just threw up their hands and gave up.'' -- Eric Michael Cordian 0+ O:.T:.O:. Mathematical Munitions Division "Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be The Whole Of The Law"