CHEVY CHASE FORD & 'CRAZY BOTMA' MERCURY DEALERSHIPS ANNOUNCE A GIGANTIC BLOWOUT CRIME SALE !!! _______________________________ DUE TO A CURRENT OVERSTOCK OF CRIMINALS AND THE NEW MAKES OF CRIME BEING PRODUCED IN OUR DC FACTORY EVERY DAY, CHEVY CHASE AND 'CRAZY BOTMA' ARE ABLE TO OFFER YOU *UNBELIEVABLE* *DEALS* ON A WIDE VARIETY OF BOTH NEW AND OLDER CRIMES. THIS MAKES IT AN OPPORTUNE TIME FOR *YOU* TO GET INTO WHATEVER TYPE OF CRIME YOU'VE DREAMED ABOUT FOR YEARS, BUT THOUGHT YOU COULD NEVER AFFORD TO PAY FOR. WE'RE MOVING OLDER MODEL CRIMINALS OUT THE DOOR EVERY DAY, AND EVEN SENDING FELONY CRIMINALS OUT THE DOOR AT AN EVER INCREASING RATE, YET WE *STILL* CAN'T KEEP UP WITH THE DEMAND OF OUR DC FACTORY TO FIND CUSTOMERS FOR THE NEW CRIMES BEING CREATED EVERY DAY BY THEIR SOCIAL ENGINEERS. WE'RE SO DESPERATE THAT WE'RE WILLING TO PLEAD WITH YOU TO ACCEPT THE BARGAINS WE ARE CURRENTLY ABLE TO OFFER. NOT ONLY ARE WE ABLE TO GUARANTEE THAT WE CAN FIT YOU INTO ANY OF A VARIETY OF THE WIDE SPECTRUM OF CRIMINAL CATEGORIES CURRENTLY AVAILABLE BUT WE CAN OFFER YOU A DEAL THAT WILL HAVE YOU BACK OUT THE DOOR IN RECORD TIME. WHAT'S MORE, DUE TO THE CURRENTLY HIGH RECALL RATE WE ARE EXPERIENCING AS A RESULT OF SENDING UNSAFE CRIMINALS OUT THE DOOR, WE CAN PROMISE TO GIVE YOU AN EVEN BETTER DEAL ON A NEW CRIME IN THE FUTURE, EVEN IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED PAYING FOR YOUR ORIGINAL CRIME. ONCE WE HAVE FIT YOU INTO A THIRD FELONY CRIME, YOU WILL AUTOMATICALLY BECOME A LIFETIME CUSTOMER AND ELIGIBLE TO MOVE FROM OUR 'EASY PAYMENT' PLAN TO OUR 'LIFETIME PAYMENT' PLAN WHERE WE *INSIST* THAT YOU TAKE *FOREVER* TO PAY FOR YOUR CRIME. WITH THE EVER INCREASING ABILITY OF OUR DC FACTORY TO PRODUCE NEW CRIMES AT AN ASTOUNDING RATE, IT HAS NEVER BEEN EASIER TO FIT INTO OUR CUSTOMER PROFILE. "IF THE CUSTOMER DOESN'T FIT THE CRIME, WE'LL MAKE THE CRIME FIT THE CUSTOMER." THAT'S A PROMISE!