~ *** ALERT *** ------------- With the theft of Toto <toto@sk.sympatico.ca>'s computer by Canadian Customs OffalSirs, the apparent theft of Toto's WebSite by Sympatico AdminiStrafers, the theft of the computer of Toto's nephew, Human Gus-Peter, the SpaceShip Cowboy, by armed thugs fitting the description of the Royal PainAssIn Mounted PoLice, and the theft and photocopying of various written materials in Toto's possession, including notes on the unfinished 'SPACE ALIENS HIDE MY DRUGS!!!' manuscript, those connected in any way with Toto and Human Gus-Peter should consider themselves be on The LIST (TM). Those who have been following the March of Dimes legislation and regulations, in which those who are in no danger of 'dropping their dime' are spreading the cheeks of the Dime Challenged and recording their findings, are likely to already be aware that Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary has announced that, in future editions, the word 'list' will be defined as singular and completely capitalized, with the plural form, 'lists,' being noted as an anachronism based on a time in history when data and information was distributed among a variety of locations around the globe, instead of in a single, gigantic database. Although Toto is in the process of recreating, as completely as possible, The LIST (TM) of those who have reason to fear their inclusion on The LIST (TM) as a result of her being forced by armed MeatSpace borderguards to 'assume the position,' it should be noted that the Inquisitors seemed particularly interested in material connecting Toto and his associates with a group of BioWar Fair terrorists known to have been involved with an attack on Boston Harbor, using an organically based toxin, and the subsequent murder of representatives of the British Crown during the lawful exercise of their duties. Anyone having any information or literature that may connect them to those terrorists, or to any of the organizations which they founded or joined, should immediately encrypt or destroy that information or literature. As well, it would be wise for everyone to avoid drawing any type of attention to themselves by engaging in recognition or celebration of "Patriot's Day," which would mark them as fitting the profile of those already known to be associated with the forementioned terrorists. Until Toto finishes compiling the identity-numbers of those who may presume themselves to be on The LIST (TM) as a result of her cavity search, anyone reading this should automatically assume that they are on The LIST (TM). In fact, given the serious implications connected with being on The LIST (TM), as evidenced by a multitude of examples of the persecution and oppression of those on lesser Lists over the course of history, it would be wise to assume that *YOU* are on the list if you meet any of the conditions of the following Profile: The LIST (TM) Profile --------------------- 1. (a) Born (b) Stillborn (c) Conceived 2. (a) Breathing (b) Formerly breathing (c) Umbilical links to a breather 3. (a) Existing (b) Formerly existing (c) Glinting [Please Note:] Receipt of any snailmail or email containg the words, "How To Make BIG $$$, Sitting At Home Licking Your Own Dick/Clit," should be taken as hard evidence that you are already on The LIST (TM).