{ AnInterviewerToBeNamedLater, though sickened by the totally disgusting display of oral sodomy committed by the Author on the SingleInnocentChildDog, Baby, NunTheLess held her tight grip on the edges of her chair, keeping her knees together to thwart the depraved bastard from discovering whether or not she was wearing panties, and fulfilled her obligation to BUMBO to provide a completed interview in return for the drugs she had received as an advance} BUMBO: How did you finally confirm your suspicions as to Tim C. May being the only real subscriber to the CypherPunks Classic Mailing List? VAN DAMNNED: I reverse-engineered the Perl Beer script that Ignoramous ChewedOff, that dickless prick, sent to the list, explaining that it could be used to create forged posts from allegedly real Net Personas. Actually, I was trying to use the program to forge messages to the list, but I was stinking fucking drunk, and the next thing you know, EveryThing became EverClear. BUMBO: ou have...uuhhh...*something* sticking to your upper lip... VAN DAMNNED: Trade you a green one for a yellow one... BUMBO: Quit trying to peek up my goddamn skirt! VAN DAMNNED: Sorry, I can't help myself... Anyway, although the results of the reverse-engineering of Tim May's CommieSchill CypherPunks Consistent Net Persona, Ignoramous, proved my previously perceived preponderance of proof to be proven, it also revealed the presence of a second gunman lurking in the gunsmoke from the seedless grass behind the knoll on Mayonnaise mountain, even though at first it didn't make any SenseToMeA. BUMBO: JohnBob Hettinga-oung? VAN DAMNNED: Exactly. I had long suspected that Hettinga and oung were the same person, due to their Consistent CypherPunks Net Personas undergoing parallel degeneration into semi-coherent mad ramblings similar to those experienced by TruthMonger when I ran short of medications. At first, I suspected they were two separate individuals with the same drug connection, but when I made the final connection between Hettinga-oung and Kent Crispin, it became obvious that the 'Spooks' alleged to be operating in the background of the CypherPunks Classic Mailing List were actually only a single 'Spook', who, upon subversively joining the CypherPunks list as an undocumentable persona capable of sneaking in under Tim May's ever watchful, paranoid eyes, fell prey to TCM's madness, developing a wide variety of Consistent CypherPunks Net Spook Personas. BUMBO: What gave rise to the CypherPunks Disturbed Male List? VAN DAMNNED: Previous to the Legendary CypherPunks Moderation/ Censorship Experiment/Crisis, little Timmy Mayonnaise's inability to reconcile his masculine and feminine sides resulted in his few Female CypherPunks Consistent Net Personas being incapable of balancing the strong male presence represented by the majority of the CypherPunks personas he had created. In order to prevent his extreme homophobia from destroying the balance of the CypherTao, he was forced to personify it as Dr. Dimitri Vulis, KOTM, publically accusing all of TCM's other CypherPunks personas of being 'cocksuckers'. This enabled the other personas, chiefly John Gilmore, to manifest the parts of TCM's disturbed psyche that were warring against his feminine side, threatening to prevent his continued residency in NewAge California under the watchful eyes of Gloria Steinham clones. Once little Timmy had reconciled his masculine side with his feminine side, by listening to C.J. Parker's 'Song For Rose (I'll Give ou My Heart But My Dick Belongs To Momma)', he felt more comfortable wearing his Freudian Slip, and his CypherPunks personas began to break up into sub-groups with lives of their own. His Jim Choate persona runs the Austin CypherPunks Node, with the Einstein/Genius sub-personality peacefully coexisting with the Feminine/Hysteria sub-personality that flipped out when Toto violated Choate's identity by forging a post to the list in the WEBeastMaster's name. His Commie Schill persona, Igor, runs the Algebra/Semantics CypherPunks Node, with Igor's understanding of the similarities between the strict logic of mathematics and the flowing music of semantics making up for Tim's inability to understand the connection between Comrade Lenin and John Lennon, or why the sound of a Volkswagon engine was so hard to dance to. Lance Cottrel's InfoNextStep CypherPunks Node secretly funded by Steven BlowJobs, acts as a release valve for TCM's remaining homophobic repressions, allowing him to justify his anal- penetration fantasies by imagining that he is being victimized by manly Nazis while trapped under the snowmobile that flipped over while racing across the tundra, while still punishing himself by the pain that results at night, when the ice-weasels cum. Joichi Ito (a play-on-words referring to Pearl Harbor Computer's motto, "We Don't Eat [Ito] [Sushi] Dogs") as the TCM sub-personality running the CypherNip Node, allows TCM to indulge the S&M Bondage fantasies which are a prerequisite for buying land in NewAge California, while telling himself that he's not *really* a fucking weirdo, because he is only binding his feet. BUMBO: And TCM's blatant redneck racism? VAN DAMNNED: The Japanese CypherPunks Disturbed Male Node was one of TCM's subconsious creations, designed to balance his round-eyed, redneck imperialist side with the suppressed slant-eyed gook in his California NewAge CosmicMakeUp. Serious students of secular semantics soon saw that the 'Chop-chop' insults hurled by Tim May at his suppressed errowMenace CyphelPunks Consistent Net Pelsonas were actually a pidgen-English variation on a red-white-and-blue/ stars-and-stripes Harley Davidson phrase, 'Chopper-Chopper'. BUMBO: Uuhhh...it's getting a little deep. Is it medication time again? VAN DAMNNED: Think about it... David Formosa, AKA ? the Platypus. It was an early sign of the Chinc within struggling to get out, yet having to adopt an Australian alias because TCM was not yet ready to face butchering the English language without the excuse of being drunk, or a victim of an imaginary disease named agraphia, which was developed in a secret underground lavoratory by Kent Crispin, who was desperately trying to keep Tim May from consciously transposing his 'r's and 'l's, and realizing that Pearl Harbor Computer's motto, "We don't eat dogs." was not a reference to the disgusting dietary habits of Orientals, but a veiled reference to the Reptilian Nazis who sated their unnatural, carnal cuisenary desires by disguising themselves as alligators crawling out of the Florida swamps to savagely savour the sumptuous PuppyFlesh of TruthMongrel's distant cousins, the FrenchConnection Poodles, whose heroin habits were a survival mechanism designed to make them comfortably numb as the Reptilian Nazis dined on their gonads, long considered a delicacy by Space Aliens across the Universe, turning them into Circle Of Eunuchs DoggieInitiates just like Baby TruthMongrel, who was a Bitch trapped in a Stud's body before being interrogated as a suspected member of the Magic Circle by Gomez's Soviet dwarf, Hobbit uri Kokoff? the Platypus, who was the inspiration for Tim May's David 'The Australian Chinc' Formosa Consistent CypherPunks Net Persona, completing the Magic Circle that began as a defensive mechanism to thwart the Dark Forces that arise every time that a Unix system is booted, releasing Daemons, Zombies, Orphan Zombies, and the Dreaded Cron, enabling students to face these imaginary creations of their drug- addled minds with the comforting support of an equally nonexistent creation by a mentally disturbed FrostBack who bought into the drug-induced, Berzerkely Dungeons and Dragons fantasies resulting from secret digital implants into the brains of Bell Labs employees by Bill Gates in order to promote his less versatile DOS Operating System as a safe alternative to a Unix Operating System proliferating in the Bay Area, dangerously within reach of the Dark Forces in Oakland who were a threat to property values, in sharp contrast to the safety of Redmond, Washington, where BadBillyG's secret lover, Blanc Weber, kept the Dark Forces within the Author's mind at bay, by resisting HisOrHer efforts to psychically peek up her skirt, to see if she was wearing panties. BUMBO: If you're not going to take any medication, then I *am*... Baby! Come here...]