From Springfield porkmarked 9 October 1998:
Subject: Virtual Heist -- FPP #6 "I put Six Million into Hog Futures first thing this morning." Yesterday's Power Suit told his lunch companion, hoping to impress her. "Silicon Valley." Today's Power Skirt replied, almost leaning over to whisper, as if speaking loud enough for the Differently Dressed Deviate at the next table to hear would make E.F. Hutton roll over in His or Her grave. "That's where the Smart Money's going again." she continued, glancing nervously at the Differently Dressed Deviate whose Well-Tailored Suit seemed so out of place and ... well, Threatening ... in this Chicago Mercantile Exchange Lunch Room. Today's Power Skirt crossed her legs and casually admired her new Rolex as she told Yesterday's Power Suit, with a hint of disdain in her voice, "I just put *Twenty-Six Million Dollars* into ..." "Everybody Freeze!" screamed the Differently Dressed Deviate as i jumped to His or Her feet, pulling a Digital Uzi out of His or Her Well-Tailored Suit, which was a Cammo Montage of Colors Weaves & Cuts of the Power Suits of a wide span of Time & Generations. "Army of Dog!" Cammo Monty continued, sending a Shiver of Terror down the spines of the Lunch Crowd gathered today, as they were everyday, discussing (over their bag lunches) their movement of Other People's Millions into and out of various Money Market Accounts, et al. Cammo Monty pointed the Digital Uzi at the breast pocket of Yesterday's Power suit. "Let's see your Bank Book, Dick Face." Horrified, Yesterday's Power Suit shakily withdrew the Bank Book from his pocket, opened it and placed it on the table in front of him. "Just over three hundred bucks." the Army of Dog Digital Terrorist told the Lunch Crowd, causing much chuckling and snickering throughout the room. "Let's have it, Twat Face." Cammo Monty spun around pointing the Digital Uzi directly at the Bank Book of Today's Power Skirt, as she was trying to slip it out of her Briefcase, unnoticed. Reluctantly, she opened it and lay it on the table. "A hundred and twenty-eight dollars ..." Cammo Monty announced to the tittering Lunch Crowd, "and seventeen cents." i finished to a chorus of guffaws. Cammo Monty leapt onto his chair, and placed one foot on the table, waving His or Her Digital Uzi around the room, seeing the Fear (TM) in the Eyes of each Wanna Be Money Kontroller in the room - thinking that they might be the next to have their finances exposed. "Today's Power Skirt," Cammo Monty told the Lunch Crowd, "bought her Rolex on a Payment Plan," a shudder went through the room, "with a *ten percent*," i spit out the words as she began to moan, "down-payment." Today's Power skirt collapsed in tears ... "You Fucking Morons (TM)!" Cammo Monty screamed at the group, causing them to cringe in shame. "You are handling Other People's Money. It's not *your* money, you idiots, so Wake The Fuck Up (TM) and stop pretending that it is ... to yourself and to each other." <J <J Across town, one of Cammo Monty's A0D Non-Conspirators was making a similar speech to a Lunch Crowd of Federal BureauCraps. "Sunshine is the best disinfectant." the Beautiful Army of Bitch Terrorist nagged the whimpering BureauCraps, for the hundredth times, as i laid yet another Digital Printout on the Overhead Projector. "This is the amount of National Debt that is a result of you Fuck Wads holding meetings to discuss the agendas of future meetings." Beautiful Bitch snarled at the Group. "This," i continued, slapping down a picture of a Family With 2.5 Children onto the Overhead Projector, "is who is *paying* for your Incompetence & Departmental Squabbling." "Don't look away!" the Beautiful Bitch screamed, using the Zoom Feature to Highlite the Child with no arms or legs in the picture. "It's NOT YOUR MONEY you Dumb Assholes!" i continued to nag at the BureauCraps. "But you're not content to force the Taxpayers to pay An Arm & A Leg to support your Wasteful Spending - now you want *Two Arms & Two Legs* ..." "CHILDREN'S LEGS!" the Beautiful Bitch raged at the terrified BureauCraps.