http://www.writtenbyme.com/content/49232 # # Legalization of Marijuana 'High Priority' of Tommy Chong's # Presidential Bid in 2004 # # by wyoming farnsworth, 7th June 2001. # # Under Chong's vision, the Benevolent United Radical Party (BURP) # has adopted a political agenda that's considered 'extreme' even # by political extremists. At present, BURP has publicly committed, # through printing of its party agenda, to: # # Disband the United States of America in favor of # "a less-is-more kinda country"; # # Establish any and all Taco Bell restaurant food entrees as a # "Fifth Food Group" to the currently existing "Four"; # # Ban all 'country' but not 'western' music, along with # dismantling and "burning at the stake" all of the entire # Nashville record-producing community; # # Utilize the vast resources of the FBI, CIA, and the NSA to # locate the long-rumored-dead Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, # and Buddy Holly; # # Motorize all grocery stores shopping carts; and # # Globally legalize, cultivate, and distribute marijuana. # # "Yeah," Chong said, scratching his genitalia for several moments # as he ponders his party's future. "I think the marijuana thing's # gonna be a bitch. You know? Like, can the U.S. make law for the # whole world? I think it can, and, if I get elected president, # you know, like, it'll happen." # # The Benevolent United Radical Party maintains its headquarters # in Tiujauna, Mexico, although for purposes of eluding taxation # they appear to have multiple HQ locations in Delaware, South # Dakota, Iowa, Wyoming, Georgia, and Oregon. # # "Actually, what it is is a big f**king mobile home," Chong # explains. "It's painted just like the f**king Partridge Family # bus, you know, with colorful squares and cubes and trapezoids # and shit. BURP goes wherever the wind blows, man." # # "Like, that's what makes it magic, man."