At 6:39 PM -0700 12/20/96, drose@AZStarNet.com wrote:
aaron@herringn.com wrote:
Flew down to LA recently with a firearm (checked, of course).
Looking over the ticket later, I was mildly surprised to find "GUN" in a string of otherwise unintelligible text.
This is a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't. The last time that I declared (as the legal notices at the check-in podium admonished me to do) a firearm in my luggage, my bag sported a large, chromium yellow GUN tag that also featured a graphic representation of a pistol (I guess for baggage handlers who can't read, or can't read English, and would still like to take advantage of one of the perks of their position).
And speaking of "damned if you do, damned if you don't," on a recent flight from San Diego to San Jose I answered a ticketwoman's questions honestly. She asked in a perfunctory manner if my bags had ever been out of my sight. I answered honestly, that, yes, they had, but only briefly. She immediately chirped up that my bags would have to be re-x-rayed. I followed her toward the security point. She then asked how it was they'd been out of my sight. I told her that the men's restroom had stalls that were far too tiny for one's baggage, and that I'd placed my bags outside. She frowned, and seemed confused by this. I averred that I had no idea if the women's restroom stalls were larger, or if women simply placed their bags in the filth behind the commode. She said nothing, but said "If we re-x-ray your bags, can you promise me you won't do this again?" I politely told her no, that the stalls were simply not large enough to accomodate carry-on luggage. Then, I added helpfully, "but you won't really know, will you, so what's the point?" She froze just as we were about to enter the escalator down to the security point, commanded me to remain in that spot, and went off to consult with her security co-workers. After about 10 minutes, she and another Southwest employee returned to where I was patiently standing, gave me a lecture on how the measures were designed for my own protection, handed me a boarding pass, and complimented me on my "honesty." (I suspect they had realized then, if not long before, that the "Have your bags left your sight?" question is ill-considered, given the design of restrooms, restaurants, etc., and that most people were simply lying to them.) As with most such situations, the laws don't catch the real terrorists. (On a personal note, the woman whose office was on the other side of my office, my last year or two at Intel, was killed when a PSA employee took a handgun on a PSA flight, entered the cockpit, shot the pilot and co-pilot, and caused the plane to plunge 35,000 feet into the hills near San Luis Obispo. Her name was Karen Fox. So much for asking passenger-units to lie about whether their bags ever left their sight for even a millisecond.) Last note: I once agreed to fill out an "anonymous poll" given to me by United Airlines as we awaited takeoff from Albuquerque, back in 1987. I expressed my opinion that Allegis, the parent corporation of United at that time, deserved to face financial ruin (I was pissed at the 2-hour delay on the ground). My "anonymous poll" was apparently not so anonymous. I was met in San Jose by four security heavies, who demanded to know what I "meant" by my comments. I pointed out that my comments, whatever they were, were promised to be "anonymous." They pressed me for an explanation and said I would be arrested by airport police on grounds of making a threat unless I explained. I yielded, and blathered about Allegis and its ill-founded policies and how I believed the stock market would reward its stupidity with a much lower share price, blah blah blah. They seemed to lack any basis for throwing me in jail, so they let me go. That was the last time I flew on United, by the way. (I'm sure that had my ticket had the indication "GUN" somewhere in the validation string, I'd've gotten even rougher attention. Citizen-units who express independent opinions and who carry guns are dangerous to the Order.) --Tim May Just say "No" to "Big Brother Inside" We got computers, we're tapping phone lines, I know that that ain't allowed. ---------:---------:---------:---------:---------:---------:---------:---- Timothy C. May | Crypto Anarchy: encryption, digital money, tcmay@got.net 408-728-0152 | anonymous networks, digital pseudonyms, zero W.A.S.T.E.: Corralitos, CA | knowledge, reputations, information markets, Higher Power: 2^1398269 | black markets, collapse of governments. "National borders aren't even speed bumps on the information superhighway."