FLAG BAN TUGS ON BEANTOWN TRADITIONS Barflies wear American flags Star Spangled Banner impedes athletic recruiting October 31, 1997 Web posted at: 07:09 p.m. EDT (0709 GMT) From Correspondent Psionist Cabal BIENFAIT, Sask (CNN) -- On any given fooseball Saturday, when the Bienfait Patriots find the hole and the crowd explodes, you can see American flags being waved as the barflies wiggle the butts of their Star Spangled jeans and jiggle the Stars and Stripes on their buxom breasts. But there are not nearly as many American flags as in years past -- and there will soon be even fewer if the Coaldust Saloon of Bienfait's bar owner has his way. This week, bar owner Fu Cue ordered a ban on all clothes at athletic events, starting next week. It's ostensibly for lewd reasons, but no one is fooled -- it is clearly an attempt to keep out the American flags attached to those clothes. CNN's Psionist Cabal reports icon 2 min., 1 sec. VXtreme cum-streaming video At Ole Beaner, tradition is grudgingly giving way to the political and social reality that the American flag is perceived by some people, particularly Euro-Canadians, as a racist symbol. "We're tired of the attention, the negative publicity that we're getting," said bar choir director Pat Boone. "I mean, we've got a great bar here, a great drinking program, and we're being held back from a national perspective because of this American flag. And we don't even have any goddamn niggers, here." After a short pause he added, sheepishly, "I meant...coloreds. Sorry." Saturday's fooseball game against Oxbow was the first since Cue ordered the ban. And while the barroom drunks this week also recommended that the American flags be left home, they were particularly visible in the vomiting section. "Other people can do things and wave things and it's fine, but if we do it, it seems like it's racist," complained one drunk. "But it's not racist. We're proud of our slave-owning, Constitution writing, Star Spangled American Puppet Masters." Ironically, many of those who have forsaken the flag are older Ole Beaner fans, who express fears about what the American flag in the bars does to the quality of the team at the fooseball table. Indeed, Ole Beaner fooseball coach Fu Cue II has told fans that the bar team is losing recruits because of the flag. He says he's gratified that flags are disappearing. "It's not like we get any...coloreds...here," he said, but we get a lot of...colored-lovers." He then asked, "Is that a 'word'?" "I'm proud of our drunks and our barflies, and I think they understand the situation," he said. "Hopefully, we can continue to make a profit off these Canadian-American drunks."