Dear Diary,
School is great but I miss home. The big city has alot to offer but people walk and talk so fast here. I feel stupid. Everyone laughs at me because I don't wear fancy clothes or drive a nice car and it's not fair that they call me the FARMERS DAUGHTER. I started to work at one of those nudie dance clubs and everyone is darn nice there. They tell me I am pretty and real smart. I was really nervous when I had to get on stage but they had some medicine that fixed me right up. They said me and Jack Daniels were going to be real close friends and they were right again! My boss, Vinnie is a mighty fine fella too. He tickles me when I get sad and has a REALLY BIG pet snake. I get to see him every shift and I get to play with him and give him BIG KISSES. One time Vinnie wanted to see if Snakey would fit in my cooter, and by golly it did! I never seen something so big fit in such a small hole!I haven't felt like that since Uncle Benny came up for Christmas and had to share a bed with me. Any way, I gots me lots of money now and all the girls are jealous cause I got all the purdy clothes.

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