[CANADIAN NUTLY NEWS-Bienfait, Saskatchewan]CINDY COHN, LEAD COUNSEL for the Bernstein free-speech encryption case, and part-time barmaid at the Coaldust Saloon, denied that her successful efforts to have Court TV release only footage that shows her "good side" conflicts with her client's interests. Swatting at the drunken hand of Louis Freeh as he made repeated attempts to grab her ass, hollering, "THIS is your GOOD SIDE, baby!", Cohn noted that the government was making claims that the solution to the DOD's admission of having made the physical and financial security of the nation and its citizens vulnerable to teenage hackers is to suppress the rights of the citizens to engage in free-speech. "If the government can engage in this type of deliberate masking of reality, then I should be able to hide my mole...dimple...", Cohn corrected herself. Scott McIntosh, appellate counsel for the Justice Department, who was drunkenly groping Freeh's ass while his attention was diverted, was trying to explain to local reportwhores that the basis of the U.S. government's case was not "prior restraint," but was, rather, "a preventative 'First Strike' against the danger of free speech in the hands of an unmonitored public." Louis Freeh, once again missing Cohn's tail end, but catching the tail end of McIntosh's statement, slapped him upside his head and screamed, "You're not supposed to tell them that, you fucking moron!" "John Gilmore, facing heated questions regarding his alleged anonymous death threat against the Ninth District Court judges, told reportwhores, "I'm not TruthMonger! I'm...Dimitri Vulis...yeah...and I'm dating Morgan Fairchild." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Canadian Nutly News is provided as a public service under the alleged auspices of the Electronic Forgery Foundation. Any misuse of the information provided by CNN is probably highly redundant. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~