On Saturday, September 22, 2001, at 11:44 PM, Karsten M. Self wrote:
IF you are a United States Citizen or Resident and YOU HAVE SUFFERED A FINANCIAL LOSS write "Financial Loss - Contact Me ASAP" on the documents you have received and Fax them to the Task Force at 202-406-6930 and give Your telephone number(s). A Secret Service Agent will call you back as soon as possible to discuss the matter with you (don't worry, you're Not in any trouble).
Or you can just use the Short Form: "I'm a greedy fool WHO SENT MONEY TO SOME NIGERIANS who promised I would Make Money Fast." It's disgraceful that employees paid by taxpayers are wasting time collecting letters from nitwits who believed they could make a lot of money by sending it to the Crown Prince of Sierra Leone or the Minister of Petroleum Exploration in Nigeria. "Hello, Friend! I am the younger brother of William Jefferson Clinton, Esq., 43rd President of our great nation. My brother is temporarily unable to access the funds he deposited in the Cayman Islands in exchange for arranging a pardon for convicted terrorists and drug dealers. I can get you a cut of his locked-up money if you just send me a minor deposit to demonstrate your honest intentions. s. Joe-Bob-Roger Clinton, unemployed honkey tonk musician." --Tim May