On Tue, 23 Jan 2001, Lori Banks wrote:
By the way, why are you sending our emails to a list of recipients cypherpunks@openpgp.net? If you were the one that originally responded to me ... which I can't even tell ... first it's bf@farc.org , then it's alan@clueserver.org ... and who knows next .... or, are you all different people ... I'm just a concerned Mom ... and confused at this point. Any assistance will be greatly appreciated -- please don't give me the run-around.... remember the Golden Rule?
Ms. Banks; My Great-grandparents believed firmly in protecting their children from the evils of the money-dominated society and worldly hypocrisy they saw around them. They refused electricity, plumbing, motorcars, and other modern conveniences in order to live a simpler lifestyle close to God and as part of a reality they understood. I have not much in common with them, but before they passed we at least learned to respect and understand one another and became friends. So, I do understand your desire to "protect" your children from the set of influences that can be encountered in the wide world. However, I cannot condone your efforts to teach them anything useful or to protect them from anything threatening by cracking their password files. First, it is rude to do so; in cryptographic discussions, people who undertake to break the security of others are referred to as "enemy" for a reason. Second, it is cowardly. You are trying to avoid a confrontation by doing this covertly, but consider the consequences: If you don't find anything, then you have invaded the privacy of innocents and cannot ask their forgiveness. And if you do find something, then you will confront people with the knowledge that you committed a crime against them, and at the same time, try to treat that as a nonissue and give them guidance on another matter? All that will teach them is that disrespect is acceptable behavior; something I hardly think you want them to learn. Now, I want to give you a page from my Amish Great-grandparents here; they are very intentional and very respectful toward one another, especially in matters of deciding what degree of protection from the world outside is appropriate. They sit down and talk about it, with their kids and with their Elders, together. They talk about what's out there, about the influences it could have, about the consequences of changes in the degree or nature in which they set themselves apart. And they don't hide it from the kids. They do not sneak around behind each others' backs, and after kids get to about the age of six, they don't search the kids' rooms unless the children ask them to. In other words, they regard Trust as a high virtue and recognize it as the only way to build trustworthiness. I happen to think that this approach is an excellent idea for people who want to protect children from evil influences, and recommend it to you. If you want to know what's in the file, ask your child. If you're afraid of what *might* be in that file, talk about it with your child. Explain that you're concerned, and explain why, and ask whether your child shares your concerns and what concerns the child has, and above all LISTEN to what the child says. As regards the cypherpunks list: "Blank Frank" is anonymous. S/he could be anybody, or several different anybodies at the same time. You happened to catch it/him/her/them in a nasty mood, and at least one of it/him/her/them flamed you pretty hard. Perhaps that particular persona of "Blank Frank" is all out of patience. But try to understand why your intent would make someone angry; there are lots of people out here who are very bitter about being "protected" as children by authoritarian adults who refused us basic human trust - which seems to be your intent. We find that intent repulsive. Perhaps that particular "Blank Frank" is one of the wounded. Try extending a little understanding for his/her pain, try to read past the vitriol, and try a little bit of that old fashioned Christian forgiveness, and you will see that even in his/her rage, "Blank Frank" was giving you basically the same advice I am giving you now. Ray Dillinger PS. I fear I have spent far more time and effort on this message than its likely reception will warrant -- but I feel it would have been Wrong to fail to give you at least the chance to understand what's going on here.