a few months in the life of this infertile girl one thing i enjoy about facebook is the old pictures that friends and fam upload to walk down memory lane together with you when cate is too scared to go downstairs penny will go with her and everything is all right she lets cate dress her up for weddings or try to ride her or pull her by the tail almost daily and even knowing the torture she will soon endure she gets so excited when cate gets home from school one more thought about best friends cate (incredulously) what were you a child of adam and eve grant and i talked last fall about wanting to take control and own a home and make some of our dreams a reality so we planned to move back to california for some opportunities there i have been laying in bed sick since monday it seems to be getting worse by the day not better i am so irritated and antsy i miss my family and i want to clean my house breakfast i always have two eggs and salsa always i dont really get sick of it and it would really stink if i did because theres not a lot out there for breakfast actually when you are at your ideal weight and ovulating regularly you can have any kind of whole grain hot cereal without a problem you know steel cut oats etc i am not quite there yet berries and grapes are pretty low on the glycemic index and i have those too oh and i love cottage cheese with fruit i thought id live there forever one day when i was 12 my dad quit his job and we moved to lake tahoe it rocked my stable world and as ive been laying in my misery ive been thinking a lot about that penny and just how lonely id be if she wasnt there with me and that made me think of all the insomniatic nights that she stayed up with me and mirrored my every move and snuggled me right out of my anxiety into dreamland long after grant and cate had drifted off off to the kindergarten valentines day party my problem dear anne is that it is 2009 kids dont like to get all fussied up anymore and i dont think they would go to the trouble of making up stories about lost broaches to be able to go to a silly church picnic in my mind the little girls are wearing spring dresses and holding parasols with their gloved hands while the boys are eating biscuits and drinking homemade rootbeer with their hats and suspenders on but i live in a dreamland where i want everything stylized i know you understand me anne Taking the valentines happy girl im loving babies & mamas sunshine happy rooms and cool colors the deal with pcos and carbs and then i found myself a mother funny i thought id teach awhile longer and have grant all to myself and save some money
