Ed Carp wrote:
CompuScam, Inc., an unwholly-owned invention of InventiData, is pleased to announce its latest offering in the growingly lucrative Internet Security market. Called "Secure Users Everywhere", SUE is "guaranteed privacy protection for citizen-units everywhere," according to Ed Carp, Chief Scientist, Chief Executive Officer, and Chief Everything Else for CompuScam. In today's press release, Carp said that "SUE is destined to become the dominant market leader in a field full of inferior products."
SUE is designed to work in any environment, and provides "Fort Knox" security for Internet users who wish to transact business over the "net". "Up until now, the Internet has been totally exposed, totally wide open to every 12-year-old wannabe cracker with a cheap PC and a modem," said Carp, "but with SUE, all that has changed overnight. Now SUE users can safely and securely exchange the most sensitive of documents, including credit card and checking account numbers, SSN, employee information, credit reports, gold bars - virtually anything that is of value can now be safely transported across the Internet."
No details were immediately available on the technical foundations of SUE, but Carp indicated that this is to provide enhanced security for its customers, adding that "you wouldn't want everyone to see your data, would you? Then why would you want everyone to know about how this software works?" According to CompuScam, SUE is composed of a small software "TSR" that is loaded into memory when a computer is first powered up, and a proprietary hardware device, known as a CUD ("compulsive exteriorization device") that provides "total security" for the software. Carp indicated that the software TSR is "completely ITAR/RNG/SHA/RC4/BBS/RSA/MD5 compliant, and meets all government standards for the very highest levels of cryptographic software, including FIPS-180, SESAME, and STU-III." The hardware device is reportedly PRNG/RNG compliant.
Additionally, the SUE product is reportedly backwards-compatible with most other manufacturer's "inferior" cryptographic products, including products from Digital Pathworks, AT&T, VeriSign, IBM, and others. Asked whether or not SUE is compatible with electronic cash offerings from First Virtual and others, Carp said, "Our total solution is so comprehensive, we're fixed problems that even the National Security Agency hasn't thought of yet. We've also totally addressed the major problems that First Virtual brought to light last month in their press release," adding that no other cryptographic software maker had even responded to First Virtual's announcement, "let alone done anything about it. We are acting now to protect our customers and children on the Internet by providing total coverage of the market."
Carp denied rumors that the CompuScam was nothing but a mailbox located in a Mailboxes Etc., branch office in Garland. "I believe you will find that a reporter obtained an early press release which contained an typographical error in our suite number," adding that the company is expecting to move soon to new offices near Sun Microsystems in Palo Alto, adding that "the proximity to so many Silicon Valley companies will no doubt enhance the value of our stock^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hquality of our software."
When asked about the timing of the release, noting that it was only a few days before the company was scheduled to go public, Carp said, "this is an absolutely wonderful opportunity for investors to get in on the ground floor of this new technology" adding something about a new Porsche which the reporters didn't quite catch.
SUE is available for PCs running all versions of Microsoft Windows, Windows 95, Windows NT and MS-DOS, as well as all UNIX and UNIX-like platforms, and MVS. The CUD hardware device is available in .357, .45, .44 Magnum, and 9MM versions. Pricing was not immediately available. --
And of course, export license has been granted to Iraq, Iran and the rest of the "non-hostile challenged" (?) world. Wonderful!