Inviso-Crypt(r) I'm proud to announce a new fuzzy-logic application that can access sub-digital biticles. These vitalistic fractional bits were never discovered before now because computer scientists are still clinging to a rigid notion of Aristotelian "A or not-A" on-off binary logic. It took a Fate magazine advertisement to inspire this scam, er- breakthrough. One of my beta testers was delighted to find his bank account dramatically compressed and his computer network rendered userless. Here is a sample of the program's output: !!! BEGIN INVISO-CRYPT(R) DATA BLOCK !!! !!! END INVISO-CRYPT DATA BLOCK !!! The preceding message may look like all spaces, but those 10 lines contain over 100 megabytes of encrypted biticles. Inviso-Crypt(r) works on graphic files, too. "+". That single character holds a 4-megabyte GIF image. Nothing works like, well, uh - nothing ... to the naked eye, of course. You've heard of Beethoven's "Emperor Concerto," this is nicknamed "The Emperor's New Code" around our data center. Our recent advance in applied cryptology works as described here or my name isn't Mr. Burns, oops, uh - Mr. Snrub, a dedicated computer scientist working at, uh - a lab very far away, on a chain of islands with affordable liability immunity and anonymous trust business structures. That'll do. This software not only does real time bit-slicing, it rolls virtual dice to generate random keys. Yes, it slices, it dices, and it will decrypt your DNA and cure cancer, colds, baldness, and all other ailments. This program is so important that my lobbyists are "passing bills" through Congress as you read this. (Ok Senator, I'm putting these bills on the trash dumpster, and when I get back, I expect them to be hauled away. Don't forget the free bar of soap to wash your hands of this whole affair. See, I DO support clean government.) Soon, Inviso-Crypt(r) will be the exclusive national standard. Why, my payroll expenses have been amazingly smaller since I printed paychecks using the Inviso-Cash(r) standard. Homer: "Hello - money, where are you?" "I like the way that Inviso-Crypt(r) works!" - Smithers.#000#