[from "If _____ Made Toasters" ...my edits] If The Rand Corporation made toasters... They would be large, perfectly smooth, seamless black cubes. Each morning, exactly as much toast as you could eat would appear on top of your toaster. Their service department would have an unlisted phone number and the cube's blueprints would be highly-classified government documents, but the "X-Files" would have an episode with a partially disassembled toaster remarkably similar to it visible in the background. If the NSA made toasters... Your toaster would have a secret crumb-door on the back that only the NSA could open in case they needed to inspect your toast for breakfasts of a national security nature.