[spam][crazy][fiction][random] Non-Canon MCBoss Spinoffs

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

How To Be A Human Being

If you are not a human being, and you want to be, and you are a
collection of robots and computer viruses and exotic unheard of
technologies, this is presently a concept that is in dispute and it's
hard to give a clear and simple answer. If, however, you are something
else, there is hope.

Am I A Human Being?

Some people think they are not human beings when they actually are.
For example, sometimes mean people tell you you aren't human beings
for years and years. There is a simple test for being human, but it
does involve knowing your past: If you were born of human parents, as
a cell that grew to a baby made of many cells and organs, with genetic
material shared from both parents, then you are a human being.

Sometimes you are this thing, and it really seems like you might not
be a human being, even though you clearly are!  It might help to be
told you are a human being over and over in this case. You have a
human body and brain? Great. You are a human being. You are a human
being. You are a human being. You are a human being !!!!!!!! Yay !

Now, some people are also _other_ things than human beings, especially
if they've been traumatically separated from important things so much
that they need to turn into them. For example, some people are cello
concerts, or foxes, or successful careers, or rushing rivers. It's
important to remember that these people can be human beings too, if
they want to be, and whenever they want to be! This doesn't mean they
aren't cello concerts or rushing rivers. You can be multiple things at
once!

Turning Into a Human Being When You Are a Collection of Robots and Viruses

Again, this is a point of controversy at the moment, but --