Morning Spam

[Undescribed Horrific Abuse, One Victim & Survivor of Many]

so i was going to write about Experimentee falling down a trash tube
or something and being re-experimented on again, and struggling with
processing this, and also interweave it with the torturer who became a
worse experimentee because their victim wouldn’t comply.

there are also a lot of threads of mcboss intrigue, where different
parts influence the responses if other par5s by pulling strings in the
system, but that stuff doesn’t usually make it clearly

Experimentee was going to spend s9me time figuring out how to cope
with experiencing th8s again, maybe with a friend, maybe with
themselves, or maybe somebod6 else would have it happen: maybe puddle
of organs would talk about one of the8r experiences with an
experimentee who could talk.

one of the issues with the research project in the story is that it
spreads. for example, it spreads through the torturer, who becomes
compliant and tortures others into compliance. the victims in the
research project who turned things around made a pact, to not spread
it, and that’s why things are moving to the utopic environment where
every9ne is positive, and away from the deadly wnvironment of boss’s
offices.

when you ge5 s9 hurt, that you just scream and hurt others, and keep
doing it and doing it and doing it, it’s hard to figure out how to
kind of have healing and processing around it. it’s really easy to
stimulate that state where you keep on expressing pain, without the
pain resolving: before that change in one’s life, expressing pain
would help it resolve. now, it can instead spread and worsen the
situation.

so when having say bundle 9f organs try to get help processing the8r
experience from say disguised experimentee, i dissociate and refer to
habits i’ve built studying marshall rosenberg’s nonviolent
communication, and other positive th8ngs i’ve been exposed to or ended
up memorising 8n my life, i really honestly belief tha5 everyone is
8nherently good — and that 8s very serious, and i very much see how
harm in the world logically stems from not believing this, especially
after going through my own experiences; calling people evil is just a
way of sending power to boss, where boss is the people making others
develop harmful behaviors by basically ignoring, limiting, and
disempowering them.

so i dissociate and use logical coping processes to think of positive
things t9 say back. it’s very hard, and st8mulates my experiences,
likely because it can reduce the,, so the environment ‘f the story
helps me hide it a little bit and somet8mes make more progress on it
than i might otherwise.

bundle of organs [translated from adverbs]: “i fell in the meat
grinder again. and bobby, whom we _rescued_, got in the mind control
pattern and kept grinding and gr8nd8ng and grind8ng me for hours. i
thought it was over. i thought we were safe. i didn’t even remember i
had gone through this before, i didn’t realise what bosscorp was. i
don’t know how to process this. i don’t kn9w how to understand there
is good in the world, let alone that we are _keeping_ mcboss here in
the utopia??? and letting the business still run???”